Different World

When you're single and you reach a certain age, you realize that you'll never end up marrying someone that you've been with forever. When your parents have been together forever, this can be a strange feeling. It almost feels as if the world as you know it has betrayed you. Things aren't going to happen the way they happened in the past. There's been a break in the chain. It's a very definite divide between generations.

I always assumed I would marry my high school sweetheart, but then I left him as soon as I turned 21. We started to have problems and I didn't think I could spend the rest of my life with him. I straddle the line between believing in true love (my parents are my best examples) and being very jaded about the whole thing (I've seen so many marriages end badly and have had so many of my own relationships blow up in my face.)

I used to be a big romantic. I was with the same person from age 14 to age 21. We wrote each other love letters and cried together and knew we wanted to be together forever. It was such an innocent, essential belief for us. He was a part of all of my yesterdays, so he should naturally be a part of all of my tomorrows. My parents met when my mom was 14. They've been together since. It wasn't unnatural to think the same would happen for me.

But, like I always say... I don't trust plans. I know a lot of people who had plans, and they ended badly. I've had plans that ended badly. Some VERY badly. I'd rather be carried on the wind as far as relationships go. I'm through drawing road maps only to have them become obsolete.

So what happens when you turn 31 and you're still single? I think you realistically give up on the idea that all love lasts forever. Sometimes love changes. Sometimes love goes away completely. Sometimes circumstances dictate what happens. I think you do the best you can. I think you try to enjoy yourself. I think you weigh everything more carefully. I think you end up thinking too much. I think this is all okay.

It truly is a different world than the one our parents grew up in. We have to understand that our love stories may not look like theirs. More importantly, we have to struggle to be okay with that.

And yes, I still believe in true love. I grew up in the protective shadow of true love and was raised to believe that anything is possible. I know it exists. I just didn't think it would be so elusive. It's one of those things I always assumed would just happen. In reality, the path to true love is long and winding. You question every decision you make along the way. But, as is true with any great adventure, I believe the reward at the end will be worth all the pain that came before it.

My parents' journey has been long and winding, too... they just make it look easy.



I guess the best we can do is be hopeful. I'm still on the path. In a way, we all are. Even the ones who think their journey is over often find themselves back out on the path long after they thought they had already found what they were looking for. I think we owe it to each other to understand that we've all taken different paths. We've all had dreams. We've all had plans that didn't pan out. Some of us have had storybook love stories. Some of us hate those people :)

In all seriousness, we need to respect each other's journeys. They're all important. They're all leading us to something. The thrill comes from figuring out what that something is and, once found, in treasuring the journey that led us there.

Driving Rules

I’ve been meaning to do this for awhile. I’m sure I’ll leave some things out, but here are the big ones:

1. If you are behind me trying to run me off the road and you KNOW I’ve just seen your headlights in my rear view mirror because I have put my blinker on to move over and let you pass, BACK OFF. I’m moving over for YOU. You don’t need to continue to try to run me off the road. It’s inevitable that I’m moving over. I’m just waiting until the other lane is clear, jackass.

2. If you try to pass people using the slow lane (especially if the fast lane is open and available for passing) you are a passive aggressive asshole and will be dealt with accordingly.

3. If you aren’t passing anyone, get OUT of the passing lane.

4. Yes, there IS a fast lane on a two lane parkway. If you’re going the same rate of speed as the car in the other lane, GET IN THE OTHER LANE WITH THAT CAR.

5. If someone flicks their beams at you, get out of their way. There’s a reason they’re doing it. It’s probably because you’ve been driving too slow for too long. Once this happens once, REMEMBER it for the future.

6. If the light says “no turn on red” and I’m waiting at it and you’re behind me, do NOT beep to try to encourage me to go anyway. If you beep, I WILL give you dirty looks and point at the “no turn on red” sign until you shut the fuck up.

7. When it’s time to merge, we have to weave ourselves together. This is practically the definition of the word ‘merge’. One car in at a time. This is called being civilized.

8. If there’s a traffic jam and we’re all waiting in it and I see you tearing past me in the breakdown lane to try to get 4 or 5 cars ahead, I am silently saying a prayer that you will die a slow and miserable death. You are a Type A jerk.

9. Trucks rule the road. Period. We may not like it, but it’s the truth. And most truckers are great drivers, so be nice to them. The bad ones are the exception.

10. Even with all of our technological advances, I still can’t predict if and when you’re going to turn unless you use your BLINKER, genius. I know, crazy, right?? And always remember… BLINKER BEFORE BRAKE LIGHTS.

Anything else???

If I Ran The World

Bizarro Jen Resume: http://bit.ly/WLnOi

WARNING

If you wore a WARNING sign that could be read by everyone who meets you and would warn them of something they should know about you, what would it say?

Interesting question, right?

Personally, I tend to BE my own warning sign, but if I had to answer this (and I don't) then I would say that my warning sign would read "Tends to forget to tell the most important people in her life why she's glad they're a part of her life."

Most of my friends get this about me, and love me anyway. It's the new people that have a hard time with this one.



I'm not a bad person. I just forget to tell people how amazing they are. Maybe my warning sign should read "If I'm hanging out with you, I already think you're amazing."

Or maybe I can just work on telling the important people why they're still in my life.

Probably the second one.

Words that come back

I just remembered something an old boss said to me. She was training me at my first HR job and there was a ton of paperwork. I was always so frustrated about the pile of paperwork. One day she looked at me and said, "Stop trying to get to the bottom of the pile. You'll never get to the bottom of the pile."

I wish I could remember that every day and especially on the days when I'm desperately looking for the bottom of the pile.

-- Sent from my mobile device

Worlds Collide

There's a sound effect in Pink's Sober (Bimbo Jones Remix) that is the exact same sound my phone makes when I'm getting a facebook message.

Hmmm, what to do? ... Never listen to this song again, change the alert tone, or delete facebook?

Decisions, decisions.

Gym Stuff

The last time I was in a gym (before last week, that is) I had a crappy clamshell Samsung phone that eventually cracked into two halves.

We were all so cute with our clamshell phones.

I had a CD walkman. If I dropped it while I was running on the treadmill, the CD went flying into the next treadmill. The CD player was never far behind. I'm lucky I didn't kill someone for all the times I dropped it.

My last gym was a New York Sports Club. I'm now going to a different New York Sports Club. They all smell the same. Chlorine, bleach and sweat.

I'm happy to be back at the gym. My legs are thrilled.

Hot - (literally)

My friend, Joe Manto, from the new FDNY Firefighter's calendar. Yowza.

Curious

I believe you would get two wildly divergent answers if you asked both my mother and myself the question, "What is the one thing you've worked hardest on for which you were not paid?"

She would say childbirth.

I would say my blog.

And there you have it. The generational divide.

Eastbound and Down

This is my new obsession.



Eastbound and Down is just one of those shows... Totally irreverent and just funny every single second. Kenny Powers is a formerly famous baseball player who moves back to his hometown and deals with losing his fame and fortune. He runs into old high school friends and continues to crush on his first girlfriend (who is now engaged to the straight-laced principal at the school where they all work.) Kenny picks up a prostitute to act as his girlfriend...

You get the idea.

Hilarity ensues.

It's on HBO (which I don't get) and I'm seriously considering signing up for it just to watch this show every week. Right now I'm watching Season One through Netflix.

Watch it and then feel free to thank me in C notes. Or just leave a comment if you're gonna be a cheapskate about it.

Dear Old Love

My new favorite things to read...

http://dearoldlove.tumblr.com/

My current favorite is:

We Can't Work It Out
I regret trying to work things out. We didn’t deserve it.

Technology Strikes Again

I am sad to announce that my laptop battery has died forever. I wonder what I could use to power this thing until I can get a new one. Clean coal? Vegetable oil?

So far this summer, I have used a tablecloth as a beach blanket and a curtain as a tablecloth. Somewhere along the line, something went very, very wrong with me. Or, depending on how you look at it... very, very right.

In all seriousness, though... why are new laptop batteries so expensive? You can almost get a new laptop for the same price as a replacement battery.

Once again, technology has managed to upset me. If I didn't love it so much, I would hate it.

Le scaphandre et le papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly)

I always say the inability to shake a film from your consciousness is the mark of a true masterpiece. I'm adding The Diving Bell and the Butterfly to the masterpiece list.

The film tells the true story of Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby, who has a stroke at the age of 43 and suffers full-body paralysis. Following his stroke, he is forced to depend on the kindness of family, friends and strangers in order to communicate, stay clean and remain sane. His left eye (the only body part that is not paralyzed) is used to blink out his memoir to a patient and loving publisher's assistant.

The film is shot in such a way that we actually watch the world through Jean-Dominique's left eye. It becomes very clear that, even though many of us look successful and pulled together on the surface, most of us are the same inside. We all yearn for affection, especially when we least expect it, we all want to feel loved, and we're all scared of something and afraid to lose everything. It often takes a tragedy for us to realize this about others, and it always takes a tragedy to realize this about ourselves. Illness is the great equalizer.

So many images from the movie resonate. Jean-Dominique daydreams of the things he always meant to try... a friend visits and reads to him... a girlfriend can't be bothered to visit since he is no longer the "whole" man she once loved... a nurse holds Jean-Dominique in his arms in the hospital pool, singing to him. There are tortured phone calls and heart-wrenching visits with family. Without a doubt, Jean-Dominique learns who is true in his life and who is false.

Who is true and who is false? If you've ever had the opportunity to learn this lesson in your own life, you know that there is no lesson harder (or more beneficial) to learn. If you've ever gone through an illness or a broken bone or a surgery, you learn very quickly who can be bothered with you and who can't. I can't help but come back to one of my favorite quotes:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." ~ Oprah

My limo has broken down more than a few times. I continue to be grateful for the people who not only rode the bus with me, but also for the ones who gave me a push up the stairs or fare for the ride.

Pay attention to how people treat you when you're of no use to them. This alone is the true measure of a person's character and will tell you more about them in an instant than you would ever learn in a lifetime lived without tragedy.

Let's Notice

I saw something on CBS Sunday Morning today that I haven't been able to get out of my head. A woman was giving her opinion on the US troops that give their lives every day. She said something like, "A woman will hear that her son is never coming home again. A little girl will hear that she'll never see her daddy again. And it's even harder to bear knowing that the people for whom they gave their lives... barely even noticed."

I started thinking about that and she's right. While I'm a big Michael Jackson fan and I was happy to see the tribute that he was given, where are the tributes for the men and women who are giving their lives every single day so that we can live free?

We need to start honoring the right things in this country. Ever since I saw the movie Taking Chance, I've wanted to do something for the troops. I'm not sure what yet, but there has to be something I can do to help out. All of them have sacrificed for us. Some gave all. I should be able to give some.

If anyone knows of an organization I can get involved in, please let me know. Things don't change overnight, but they do change one person at a time.

Let's notice when these men and women give their lives. I know it's too much to wish that they would all get the send-off that Michael Jackson received... but we can all say thank you and be grateful every day for our defenders. They are the reason we live free. I can't think of a greater or more noble cause to celebrate, remember, and (perhaps most importantly)... notice.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

albumart.org

I use this site for all those times when iTunes can't seem to find the album artwork for an album in my library. I've been using it for years and wanted to share. Once you find the artwork you need, you can drag the image to iTunes and "drop" it in the space where it says "Drag Album Artwork Here."

http://albumart.org/

You're welcome :)

Advice

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." ~ Anonymous

"Fight as if you are right; listen as if you are wrong." ~ Karl Weick

"Dismiss whatever insults your soul." ~ Walt Whitman

"Don't grow up too quickly, lest you forget how much you love the beach." ~ Michelle Held

Lawrence Beaman

Trust me, you want to watch this. What an amazing performance:

Twitter For Busy People

If you're using Twitter, you want to know about this site:

http://www.twitterforbusypeople.com/

You're welcome.

Favorite Simpsons Quotes

I figured we could all use some levity. These Simpsons quotes crack me up.

And for an awesome Simpsons book... buy The Homer Book (Simpsons Library of Wisdom)

[Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead.]
Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"?
Homer: No! I swear on this Bible!
Marge: That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.

Homer: What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

Homer: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?
Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there!
Homer: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

[Looking at Uruguay on a map]
Homer: Heehee! Look at this country! "You are gay."

[Lisa tells Homer about Thomas Edison]
Homer: No one man can do all that. You're a liar, honey. A dirty, rotten liar.

Lisa: Dad, just for once don't you want to try something new?
Homer: Oh Lisa, trying is just the first step toward failure.

[In the car on the way to Florida]
Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me!
Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing!
Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father's just had a breakdown.
Homer: My pockets hurt.

Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

Homer: Boy, everyone is stupid except me.

Marge: We don't think you're slow. But on the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything.
Homer: Do you think I don't want to? It's those TV networks Marge. They won't let me. One quality show after another, each one more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once -- just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves. But they won't, they won't let me live!

Carl: Throw away your self-pity and come get drunk with us.

Homer: I think I saw him in Rent, or Stomp, or Clomp, or some piece of crap like that.

Homer's ghost: Marge you gotta help me, I have to do one good deed to get into heaven.
Marge: Well I got a whole list of chores: clean the garage, paint the house...
Homer's ghost: Whoa whoa whoa. I'm just trying to get in, I'm not running for Jesus.

Chief Wiggum: Oh, sure. We'd all love some *real* friends, Marge. But what are the odds of
that happening?

Comic Book Guy: Ack! There is no "emoticon" to express what I am feeling right now!

Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself.
Homer: You can sit there complaining, or you can knit me some seat belts.

Bart: Oh, this is the worst Fourth of July ever, I hate America!

Marge: Homer, we can't take his money!
Homer: Aww, I can't take his money, I can't print my own money, I have to work for my money! Why don't I just lay down and die!

Marge: Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
Homer: Well in that case, He should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.

Homer: If the Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

Homer: Oh yeah, Marge? I made a dollar!
Marge: While you were out making that dollar, you lost forty. And the plant called and said that if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: WOOHOO! Four day weekend!

Groundskeeper Willy: If it was up to me, I'd let you go; but the Gods have a temper, and they've been drinking all day!

Dr. Hibbert: You can't let a single bad experience scare you away from drugs!

Homer: [after observing Barney's movie] Wow, I'll never drink another beer again.
Vendor: Beer here!
Homer: I'll take ten!

Homer: And I gave that man directions, even though I didn't know the way, because that's the kind of guy I am this week.

Homer: Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Bart: As long as you're doing things for me, will you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house?
Homer: NEVER!

Marge: The only thing I asked you to do for this party was put on clothes, and you didn't do it.

Marge: Homer, I'd like to talk to you.
Homer: But then I won't be watching TV!

[Homer has just been shot]
Lisa: You know, Dad, that's probably something you should go to the hospital for.
Homer: After pie.

[Bart and Homer are about to race their horse]
Homer: Don't worry. I've seen enough of the "Horse Whisperer" to know how to win a race.
Homer: [whispers to horse] When you're on the race track, run really fast.

Marge: I guess the moral of the story is that the reward for a good deed is the deed itself!
Bart: No, mom, because we got the cool giant head!
Marge: Okay. Perhaps the moral of the story is: no good deed goes unrewarded!
Homer: But Marge, we only got the big stupid head after I wrote that nasty letter to Mr. Burns!
Marge: Mmmm... okay, maybe the moral of the story is "The squeaky wheel gets the grease!"
Homer: Maybe there is no moral, Marge. Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happened.

Marge: Homer, it's easy to criticize.
Homer: Fun, too.

Blanket

In honor of Blanket Jackson, we decided to call each other only by household item names last night. I called my mom "Shower Head." She called me "Toilet." Tell me how you really feel, mom.

MJ Memorial Service

I haven't read the article yet, but there are some incredible photos here:

http://bit.ly/16d5ru

MTV 10th Anniversary

Does anyone else remember watching this live? I taped it on VHS and I'm pretty sure I broke the tape watching it over and over. The ending is so surreal now.

The Undisputed King of Pop

(Originally posted on June 26th - it seems appropriate to move this back to the top of the blog in tribute...)

I saw Michael Jackson in concert when I was in the fourth grade. Third row. I’ve been to about a billion concerts since then and none of them stand out like that one does. Dirty Diana, Bad, Thriller, Man In The Mirror -- he didn’t hit a bad note. He didn't take a false step. I could tell you what I wore that night. I wanted to live in that arena.



Michael Jackson revolutionized music globally. It’s easy to forget that dance actually existed before Michael Jackson. Anyone who calls himself a singer or a dancer owes a debt to Michael Jackson. There wouldn’t be a Madonna, a Britney, a Christina, a Justin… without Michael. And there wouldn’t be a Michael Jackson without James Brown.

I have had the great fortune of seeing both James Brown and Michael Jackson in concert. It’s nice to imagine that they’re having a great big dance party together right now... wherever they are.


Michael Jackson and James Brown

Michael Jackson is so instantly recognizable, there isn’t a person alive that can’t identify Billie Jean by the opening notes. It isn't Halloween until Thriller plays. His music video premieres were events. We waited in front of the TV for them (before the age of Tivo and DVR.) It was worth it to wait. I worry that kids don't know that feeling anymore. Beat It and Bad were gangster. Now the videos look a bit feminine and strange, but back in their day they were gangster. (It was the 80’s… even gangster was feminine and strange.) ... And the "fight" in the Beat It video is still the most graceful one I've ever seen.

Every guy wanted to be as cool as Michael Jackson. When Thriller came out, all the girls were in love with him. It may be hard for people today to believe, but we all wanted him to be our boyfriend. Women and girls fainted as soon as he hit the stage or entered a room. I was always very sad about how his life tipped, but I choose to remember him as that handsome guy in Thriller... and as the man who put on the best show I have ever seen.

People will go on and on about whether or not the man was a sicko, a wacko, a pedophile, a weirdo. The bottom line is that we will never know for sure. It’s always someone else’s word against his on that front. But there’s no denying that he is the greatest entertainer who has ever lived. I’ve been watching his videos today. There’s so much to look at, to remember, to celebrate. His music videos play like movies. His dance moves were superhuman. The only person who can dance like Michael is Janet... period. And the man knew how to market himself as a brand. Even his silhouette is iconic. His shadow gets thrown onto a backdrop and you recognize him instantly. His hat, his glove, his white socks and black shoes – all legendary. Anyone have any idea what color socks Justin Timberlake wears? Anyone care about Chris Brown’s silhouette? Didn’t think so. 

Michael Jackson in silhouette

At least for today, let's remember Michael Jackson as the icon that he is. After what he has given to us musically, he deserves that much. Today I celebrate the incredible influence Michael Jackson has had on the world, on the music industry as a whole... and on my own little life. RIP Michael Jackson. Gone Too Soon...  

Molly's blog

My friend Molly just started blogging and I'm already obsessed with her writing. Head over to her blog to read about all of her amazingness and show her some love with a comment :) When I say I was in tears reading her posts, I mean I was in tears reading her posts. She is the most amazing girl I know and she inspires me every day. I hope you become hooked!

http://mecarta.blogspot.com/

Dramatic Chipmunk

I almost fell off the couch with this one. It's 5 seconds long. If you don't have 5 seconds to watch something hilarious, you have problems I can't help with...

Hey Jude

Go ahead and try to find something cuter than this. I dare you...

Public Dancing

Grand Central is NEVER this fun! Maybe people wouldn't be so crazy if we had some organized dancing once in awhile...

And the Darwin Award Goes To...

Me.

I just smacked the hard bottom of the boot that's protecting my right Achilles tendon into my left ankle... HARD. It's swelling up. If that's not the dumbest thing I've ever done, it's definitely the dumbest thing I've done today. Off to bunny hop to an ice pack...

I Am The Short Note Singer!

Why is it that Sesame Street still makes me laugh louder than almost anything else?

Beyonce at the BET Awards

In mom's words: "She was appropriately reverent in a room full of clowns." Also, the words stunning, flawless and perfect come to mind. A perfectly beautiful tribute to Michael Jackson.

Bravo, Beyonce, as always...

Farrah Fawcett

Mom and I just watched Farrah's Story (me again; her for the first time.) I'm still amazed at Farrah's courage and her willingness to be so open in her documentary. I hope it wins some kind of an award, because it most certainly deserves it.

Mom: "I didn't know she went back and forth to Germany so many times for treatment. Why don't we have this technology here?"
Me: "I don't know, the FDA?"
Mom: "Oh. They suck."

Old friends

My parents and I went to a 30th anniversary party for our dear friends Kathy and Mark yesterday. We met Mark and Kathy 15 years ago and they haven't changed one bit. Their house is warm and welcoming... their family even more so. I'm going to spend today being thankful for them. And for shared music, shared friends, bonfires, new additions, S'mores and fireflies. Welcome back, summer :)
--
Sent from my mobile device

Rhythm Nation

Still one of my favorite music videos of all time, and it's been years since I've seen it. Enjoy.

MJ's Tribute to Sammy Davis, Jr.

He wrote and performed this song only once, for Sammy Davis, Jr. It was written specifically for this occasion... and it blew me away today.

Michael Jackson in Concert

If you ever wanted to know what a Michael Jackson concert is like, imagine two and a half hours of THIS -- no breaks -- he never left the stage. He changed his clothes on stage in a tent. I've never been so entertained in my life:



The Hartford Courant's headline today: The Thriller's Gone. What an amazing title. Bravo.

Achilles

So I have Achilles Tendonitis (or something equally as ridiculous.) I was totally fine this morning and arrived at the Travelers Championship ready to assist the players. A couple of hours into working on the driving range, my Achilles tendon and lower calf were on fire.

I went to the First Aid area and got the thing wrapped up. Also got 3 Ibuprofen. The end of my session with the doctor went like this:

Doctor: "You should really try to wear high tops from now on."

Me: "Really? Like, as in, 1985 high tops?"

Doctor: "Ha ha. Something like that."

Me: "I already have braces. Now you want me to wear high tops, too? What's next... slap bracelets?

Doctor: "Well, if you don't wear high tops you may wind up with a ruptured tendon."

Me: "I'll take my chances."

I really am my own worst enemy.

-- Sent from my mobile device

Falling Slowly

This is why I watch So You Think You Can Dance. Falling Slowly is the best routine I've seen yet. I have a crush on Jonathan. He's adorable. Pay attention to the facial expressions. Priceless. It's a perfect depiction of love and all the complications and emotions that go along with it. I could write a term paper on this dance.

Pool Parties

Pool parties in movies always look 10 times better than any pool party I've ever been to. At the pool parties I go to, the girls sit around and talk about how fat they are and the men drink beer and eat hamburgers and start fights. So Hollywood, maybe a little more research is in order.

"We don't have to."

Yesterday, I got to spend the day with Amy Ellen. People always ask me if it's hard to stay close friends with the first friend I ever had. I've known Amy since I was born. It's not hard at all. It's the easiest thing ever, actually.

We went out for a wonderful lunch outside, had a few drinks and went for a lovely walk. The first thing Amy said when we got back to my apartment was, "I'm putting my sweatpants on." One of the many reasons why I love her - she speaks my language.

Then she had to call her boss to check in. Her boss asked what she was up to tonight. Here's Amy's response: "I'm with my best and oldest friend Jen. What are we doing? Um... we're just kind of sitting here. I'm doing work and she's working on her resume." Then she laughed and said, "We haven't seen each other in 6 months and we're not even talking to each other." I started cracking up and said, "We don't have to."



There's nothing but comfort when you've known someone as long as I've known Amy. There are no secrets, there's no trying to impress each other. We've impressed each other enough already. Now we get to concentrate on enjoying each other and making each other laugh.

After we finished our work, we watched Horton Hears A Who (laughing out loud at all the same places), then watched the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey (acting mortified at all the same places), then Rescue Me (which neither of us understood, so I have to watch it again and report back to Amy.)

And then it was time for bed. We're grown-ups now (kinda) so a lot has changed since we were little girls. We both have our own beds when Amy comes to visit and we drink martinis now instead of juice, but I remember so many years ago when I would sleep over at Amy's parents' house on the pull-out couch in the basement. We would be up all night talking about boys and about which girls we couldn't stand and which girls we wish we were friends with. It seems like only yesterday that her dad was coming downstairs to yell at us to go to sleep, for crying out loud.

But most of all, I remember the laughter. We laughed so hard and for so long that we cried and our stomachs hurt. It was the laughter that usually got us in trouble back then, because it was always the loudest and too late at night.

So that's what I was thinking about last night at midnight when Amy was shouting at me from her bed in the other room, "I'm trying to think of a way to make your resume more creative!!!!! Maybe we could do it as a poem?!?!"

Then the laughing started.

In a world that changes by the minute, it's still nice to know that some things never will.



PS - Amy is STILL sad that Betsy got a trophy and she didn't. Last night we were trying to figure out why I was so happy without a trophy. My answer: "Who knows? My mother probably pumped me full of drugs before the recital."

And more laughter...

Wet Shoes

I wrote this years ago. Can't believe I never put it on here. I have no idea why, but it's one of my favorite things I've ever written...

Today at the parking lot at the train station I saw two men's shoes (very nice expensive loafers) abandoned in a puddle, and I've been thinking about them all day. How does a man lose two loafers in the rain? I think about things like this.

It was raining really hard last night and I can imagine this young guy getting off the train without an umbrella and he's happy and celebrating something (an engagement, a raise, a new lease on life) and he was so excited but so wet from all the rain that when he got to his car he just decided to shed his wet shoes with his past life.

Shoes in a puddle making me think. I can almost picture him running through the rain to get to his car. Maybe he's been telling the story all day.

Maybe he has no idea why he woke up this morning without shoes.

A lot of people walked past those wet shoes and didn't even see them, but I've been thinking about that guy all day.

Dog ear

Everyone knows I love to dog ear my books. Someone once told me it's disrespectful to the author to do this. I don't understand that. If I'm dog earing, it's because I love what the author has written. Here's my most recent dog ear:

"It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like... gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her... You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother."
~ Eclipse, Stephanie Meyer

If that's not worth a creased page, I don't know what is.

Millions

My newest movie recommendation is Danny Boyle's Millions. He made it several years before Slumdog Millionaire and it's delightful (which is my new favorite word to use when describing movies that are wonderful and fun for the whole family.) Don't forget to add it to your Queue.

Homage Must Be Paid

RIP David Carradine

Tumblr or Blogger

Which one do people like better?

Gay Marriage

Once again, Jon Stewart is RIGHT ON. And the Michael Steele as Muppet bit? Priceless.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Gay Marriage Is Bad for Small Business
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

More Thoughts On American Idol

I know I "live tweeted" Idol last night, but I've had some time to think today (you don't say?!) and there are more things that need to be addressed:

1. Norman Gentle? Love that kid. Very funny, great gimmick. I love that they flashed back to when he was singing that song and right in the middle he just shouts out "Seacrest!" Classic.

2. I could not STAND Kara until last night. Now she's my girl.
Older Women: 1, Youngsters: ZERO.

3. Kris was just as surprised as everyone else was that he won. I was listening to the radio today and a deejay said something that I hadn't thought about. She said it's the first time she hasn't cried watching the finale, and the first time the winner didn't cry. There really wasn't much emotion to this one. Nothing beats Kelly Clarkson (1.) and Carrie Underwood (2.) Taylor Hicks and David Cook were pretty emotional too. Even Ruben was emotional. I hate Fantasia, so I never cared about that season. I only liked one performance from her -- when she sang "What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life?" and she cried at the end.
And Jordin Sparks. I almost forgot about her! Her win was pretty emotional too! Kris was in shock. Bottom line. He didn't expect to win.

4. Adam will be fine. I'm sick of everyone today saying that his not winning is Idol being anti-gay. Ridiculous. I would be shocked if that was even remotely true. So now that we've settled that, look at Chris Daughtry, David Archuleta, JENNIFER HUDSON!!! None of them won, and look at them now. Adam will be fine. He should release a duet with Allison PRONTO.

5. Megan Joy truly needs to walk away now. There's no reason for any of us to ever see her again. I'm sorry. She never belonged on the show. Period. Ditto with that drama queen, whatever her name is.

And, as always, my last thought when it comes to Idol... What Would Brian Dunkleman do?

Pineapple Express

Get thee to your nearest video store (or move it up in your Netflix Queue.) HILARIOUS. Most of you will hate it. No, really. But I loved it and would watch it 1,000 more times.

Multigrain Cheerios "Shut Up, Steve" Commercial

I am so happy I found this blog posting (below) because this has been driving me nuts. You know the Multigrain Cheerios commercial where the husband asks the wife if she's eating that cereal because it's low in fat? Then she gets all upset because she thinks he's saying she needs to watch her weight? The last line is "The box says 'Shut up, Steve.'" I noticed recently that they've made the wife sound more "chipper" and sweet. In the old version she was more aggressive and monotone. Both versions had American accents. I was curious about it so I googled it and found out that the commercial started in the UK with actors with British accents, then was carried over to Canada and then to America with "American" accents. Not sure how many times this commercial has been changed, but it's SO obvious (if you're like me and you remember every little sound every person ever makes.) If you have no idea what I'm talking about, this blog posting will mean nothing to you. But I'm very happy I'm not the only person who notices these ridiculous things!

http://becauseitsallaboutme.blogspot.com/2008/01/what-or-as-british-say-pardon.html

Here it is with British accents (not the one that aired in the US):



Here's the one that aired in the US:



It's as if they think Americans can't understand British accents! So funny :)

So Many Things

There are so many things wrong with the call I just made to the Greenwich Police NON-emergency dispatch, which you're told to call if you're not sure whether it's a real emergency.

I was woken up at 4:00 am by what sounded like someone laying on their car horn. Last month, a woman in my neighborhood did this very same thing to get away from her husband who was stabbing her with a screwdriver, so I didn't think it unreasonable to call.

So I call, and the male dispatcher was a total a-hole. I said I was calling because I knew that last month there was a strange domestic dispute that ended with a blaring car horn. He said, and I quote, "That wasn't a stabbing, ma'am. A man tripped over a fence." I said, "No, a man in my neighborhood stabbed his wife with a screwdriver. I don't make it a habit to call the police at 4 am for no good reason." He says, "Oh yeah, I do remember that."



There was definitely a loud alarm going off. He could hear it through the phone and he asks me, "Where is it coming from?" Um, I don't know, genius. That's why I'm calling you. He then proceeds to tell me it's "probably just a car alarm... I can hear it in the background."

#1.) I lived on a very busy street for a year. My bedroom was on top of street parking. I've heard my share of car alarms. None of them sound like a person laying on a horn.

#2.) Even if it WAS a car alarm, don't people have those things so the police will intervene if their car is being stolen?

#3.) What if it was a home invasion and it was a house alarm? That's the kind of response you want from the police department, especially a police department that has just handled a very serious domestic dispute case that happened 2 doors down from your house?!?

He did say they would "send a car over to check it out."



The car sped down the street and definitely didn't check anything out. Remind me to never get into a bad situation when that dispatcher is on duty.

Once again, I'm less than impressed. And wide awake.

-- Sent from my mobile device

Thinking about this today...

I'm remembering this quote from Synecdoche, New York and thinking about how very true it is...

"I know how to do it now. There are nearly thirteen million people in the world. None of those people is an extra. They're all the leads of their own stories. They have to be given their due."
~ Caden

Benjamin Button Verdict

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is an incredible movie. Long, but incredible. Make a day of it. It's very deep... and I would call it epic. Several times while I was watching it I was reminded of Forrest Gump.

Two buttons up.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Yes!!

Best site ever (or at least until I find another one.) We've all been there...

www.textsfromlastnight.com

Happy reading. Enjoy.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Eco Friendly Font

Download this font and use 20% less ink when you print. You're welcome.

http://www.ecofont.eu/downloads_en.html

Blinker

Every once in awhile (it doesn't happen often) I forget to put the radio on in the car. Today was one of those days, and I didn't realize it until I actually HEARD the blinker blinking. The only time I ever hear the blinker is when the radio is off because I forget to turn it on or the radio is off because someone in the car is mad at me and we're having a fight and therefore the radio cannot be on -- (I never really understood why people do this but it's happened to me enough where I'm actually writing about it.)

I don't like the sound of that blinker.

Twitter In Real Life

This had me laughing out loud! If you know about Twitter, you will love this video. If you don't know about Twitter, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!??!

http://comedyjuice.com/2009/04/real-life-twitter.html

This Is Life

I just had a flashback to something my sister used to say. She used to hear my dad say, "This is the life." He mostly said it sitting by the lake in Maine. For whatever reason, Erin picked up on it and when she was little I heard her say, "Ah... this is life." She left the "the" out. Come to think of it, I like it better that way.

Robin Williams

Robin Williams looks like he's impossible to work with. For this reason alone, I love him. There's something happening in his head that no one understands. I can relate to that.
-- Sent from my mobile device

Rapping Flight Attendant

If you're not clapping by the middle of this, I don't want to know you.

Both Sides of Technology

When I watch old movies I find myself becoming nostalgic for a time I never lived through. It was all so simple then. And the movies don't even have to be that old. Even movies made in the 80s and 90s make me wish for simpler times. It used to be that if a boy liked you he had to call you and think of things to say to you once he got you on the phone. Now, we accept a "hey what's up" text in place of a real conversation.

I love technology, I really do, but I wish this hadn't happened. I can remember my first boyfriend having to call my parents' house to talk to me. Many times he had to get through my dad before he could talk to me. That never happens now. Most kids have cell phones and most text rather than talk.

I can remember running to the mailbox to retrieve love letters from my first boyfriend. I can't imagine that happens much anymore. People get love emails.

It's kind of a shame that you can now set up a date online with someone that you've never seen or met. It takes all the "courting" out of dating. I'm not old-fashioned, but these are some of the things I miss. Remember that nervousness you got when you stared at the phone thinking of things to say to the boy once you got him on the phone? Or remember waiting for his call? I haven't had that feeling in a long time. I hope kids today get to experience something like that feeling we used to get.

I'm part of the generation that can truly remember both sides of the technology revolution. And it happened fast. When I entered college I had a word processor that I carried around campus and a Nokia cell phone that was as big as my head that I was only to use in case of emergency. One person on our floor had a personal computer. If I wanted to talk to my boyfriend I had to be in my room when he called, and vice versa. Texting didn't exist, or if it did, no one knew about it. I remember receiving my first text message in 2003... three years after I left college.

When I left college I had a computer and printer in my dorm room and my very own cell phone. And now I have to have every gadget as soon as it comes out as long as I can afford it. So I'm in a conundrum. As much as I think technology is wonderful, I'm always a little mad at it for what it's taken away from us.

Play Date

Just out of curiosity, when and why did people start saying this? It's all I ever hear now... "Jimmy has a play date with Billy." What the hell is that?! When we were little, I said to my mom, "Mom, can Amy come over / sleep over / go on vacation with us?" I never said, "Can Amy and I have a play date?" It sounds so dumb and I wish people would stop saying it. Your kids shouldn't be dating this young anyway.

In other news, I have a play date with Teeny today.

Susan Boyle - Jimmy Fallon

This made my entire morning. If you like Susan Boyle, you'll love Jimmy Fallon and the cast of his show sitting in a conference room watching Susan Boyle.

IQ Test

Someone on my facebook challenged me to an IQ test. This was the first question:

"Frank is taller than John, Ralph is taller than Frank. Therefore, John is the shortest." (True/False)

My answer: I DON'T CARE and I'm not taking this stupid test.

Francis Bean

Francis Bean Cobain is 17. We should be hearing from her publicist
soon. She's due for socialite status.

--
Sent from my mobile device

As long as we're on the subject...

When I was younger and saw this on Sesame Street, I thought those old ladies working at the crayon factory had the coolest jobs in the world. Now, well... I guess I still think that.



I liked this one because the guy fought for the letter "J":



And this one is obviously new and I have been laughing out loud to it for the past 5 minutes:

People My Age

If anyone wonders why people my age are all screwed up, they can now blame the shows we watched as children. Namely, this clip from Sesame Street, in which a young girl with a mullet and no front teeth takes her llama to the dentist... alone. It's a wonder our generation isn't more screwed up.

Confession: I still sing this song to myself. A lot.

Muppet Scat

Last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart talked about the hijacking of the Maersk Alabama and the Naval base near Manama. He brought up this old clip from the Muppet show and asked viewers to Google "Muppet Scat." The rest is web history (and I LOVED this bit on the Muppet Show.) It'll be in your head all day now. It's currently the number 1 search on Google Hot Trends.

LOL

Dear Frozen Pizza People,

It's like you're not even trying anymore.

Love,
me

GPS

So I get in the car tonight and my GPS gave me an error message that basically said, "Hey, there's no maps on here." And I get this message AFTER I perform a Map Update. Doesn't seem like such a great update if all it does is erase all of my maps.

Get your act together, Garmin. I need your assistance on Monday to get me to the post office that couldn't find my house if I had flood lights shining on it.
-- Sent from my mobile device

Things I Don't Understand

1. Why can't DVRs be "smart" and figure out when a show is going over its alloted time and compensate for it? I know it can be done. If a robot can vacuum my floors and a GPS can find my location instantly, then DVRs can be smarter.

2. Math.

3. Why my mail can't figure out how to get to my house. Maybe we should go back to the Pony Express. I'm actually at the point where I'm going to have to visit the post office IN PERSON like it's 1900.

4. Gary Busey's teeth.

5. My teeth.

6. Weather.

7. Why customer service reps have to be SO dumb.

8. The traffic patterns in Fairfield County. And by "patterns" I mean why is there traffic all the time?

9. Math.

10. Math.

Adam Lambert - Mad World

For all of us who didn't see Adam last night because our DVRs cut him off, here it is. Some of the video doesn't fit on the page but you can hear it fine. Just listen. Superstar:

Please donate to this cause!

Many of you who read my blog know my friend Amy Froebel. Her sister's name is Betsy Udal and she's doing an amazing bike ride soon to benefit The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp (founded by Paul Newman in 1988.) I don't have much money to give at this point, but even I gave a little... so there's no excuse for the rest of you :) This is the best thing I can think of to spend my money on.

You can read Betsy's email below (which brought tears to my eyes) and then you can decide for yourselves. No pressure :)

******************************************************

Hello All-
This is obviously a mass email to most everyone in my email address book, so if I have already talked to you about the bike ride I am doing, please disregard this email.

Over Memorial Day weekend, I am going to ride my bike 135 miles to raise money for the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp's Hospital Outreach program. The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp is a camp in Ashford, CT that was started by Paul Newman in 1988 and serves children with serious illnesses. Their Hospital Outreach Program brings camp to the hospital for the kids that are too sick to leave and attend the facility in Ashford.



I did this bike ride in 2007 with my mom and Matt. It is hard and long with a lot of ups and downs, but they set the ride up to be that way to mimic what a sick child feels. Saturday is the first day of the ride, and we will ride 85 hilly, CT miles. The ride ends on Saturday at the camp, where we get to spend the night. I remember in 2007 feeling exhauseted and sore the last 5 miles, as we had to pedal uphill to reach the resting spot. But when you reach camp, you feel completely different. You are greeted by friendly faces, and the mood there is positive and exciting. It is magical. It is exactly what a sick child experiences when they have a chance to attend this camp. They become just a child that is sick instead of a sick person that is a child. It is amazing.

Day 2 goes from Ashford to Mystic, CT. It is 50 miles, and while is it less hilly then day 1, your body aches and all you can think about it the finish line. But along the way at some of the rest stops you get to meet some kids with some very seriousl illnesses, and suddenly 50 miles doesn't seem so bad.

I am sending you this email because I have personally committed to raise $1,000 by May, 100% of which goes directly to the Hospital Outreach Program. So far I am at $250. I have a long way to go, but I often remind myself that most things in life are easier than being an ill child.

I know times are tough for a lot of people and that many of you already give to other charities and programs, so I understand if this is not one of them. But if you are able to give, please consider donating to my ride. No amount is too small; it is all appreciated greatly.

Please click on the link below to make a donation.

Regards,
Betsy Udal

http://www.teamholeinthewall.org/Page.aspx?pid=474&frsid=1796

INCREDIBLE

I could say a lot of things about the greatness of country music, but for now I'll just say they sure know how to honor our troops. Stunning. Chills and tears.



Trace Adkins and the West Point Cadet Glee Club, at the ACMAs

English majors

This probably explains my feelings about my college degree better than I could ever hope to:

Mr. Clemente said, "Put your heads down on your desks and listen to the rain." I didn't know then that I wanted to be a writer, but I knew this was magic and I wanted more and more of it. English majors in college show up in my writing workshops years later, after trying a career in another field, because a dream was born in them back in school when they read Dostoyevsky, Thomas Mann and Virginia Woolf, and they can't get it out of their heads. So after a few years as computer programmers, they see it doesn't give them that hard rain in the afternoon outside the window. They know there is something else and that it's in their own brain. I honor English majors. It's a dumb thing to major in. It leads nowhere. It's good to be dumb, it allows us to love for no reason. That's the best kind of love."

Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

My favorite Office quotes - from 2006

Some things are just timeless...


Michael: "Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."

Dwight: "I have been Michael's number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like... Mozart's friend. No. I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like... Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You're gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy."

Michael: "Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I've heard "women and children first." But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands."

Pam: "Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were and ended with him telling me he could bench press 190 pounds."

Michael: "Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

Michael: "That is a perfectly good mini Christmas tree. We are going to sell that to charity because that is what Christmas is all about."

Jim: "The Albany branch is working right through lunch, to prevent downsizing. But, Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour, so that we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight."

Michael: "New York City is like Scranton... on acid. No... speed. No... steroids."

Michael: "New York, New York. City so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name."

And by far my favorite quote of this year was this:

Michael: "Why do you keep a diary?"
Dwight: "To keep secrets from my computer."

Classic.

My best relationship advice

My friends are always asking me to write this stuff down (probably because I'm kind of an expert by now.)

I'm always puzzled when women stay in relationships that they know aren't right for them. I'm probably even more puzzled when that woman is me. It's very easy and satisfying to blame society for this, to blame Hollywood. But at some point every woman has to begin to take responsibility for her own choices and her own happiness. And it's never too late.

I think that the times people choose to be silent can say a lot about them. Many people offer silence when avoiding.

I have found that if you offer up radio silence and get radio silence in return, that's the beginning of the end. A man won't accept silence if he really wants to be with you. He shows up.

That's really as simple as it sounds. When a man wants to be with you, he shows up.

When you want to be with someone, you show up. When only one person shows up, that's no longer a relationship. Pay attention to who shows up.

Better yet, pay close attention to who never leaves.

Cereal prize

I opened my cereal box this morning and there was a prize inside. Remember when we were kids and you had to dig for the prize? That was the fun part. You had to dig for the prize and destroy the box and bag and then convince your parents that you didn't destroy everything looking for the prize. You had to fill 3 bowls with cereal, get the prize and then try to get the cereal back into the box (which never happened.)

This prize that I found today was on top of the sealed bag. On top. It's a stuffed Minnie Mouse. I can't stand Minnie Mouse. And I'm upset that I didn't have to dig for it. And I'm upset that it surprised me.

It's an upsetting day all around.

Wishes

Waiting for the train I'm thinking about how much I wish I had a blog/twitter when I was commuting into the city a couple years ago. There would have been some great stuff!

I remember the time the train pulled into the station in Greenwich and I realized the zipper on the back of my skirt was broken, basically exposing my bare @ss to anyone behind me. I ran downstairs, fixed it and caught the same train.

You can't make this stuff up.
-- Sent from my mobile device

Timing

This seems like the perfect time to put this up. In case you're wondering, it's a metal piggy bank I took a photo of in the East Village, and it's hilarious. So laugh.

Status

Yesterday, Teeny and I were making fun of people who put up stupid status updates on facebook like "I'm so tired" or "I just ate lunch" and I realized that if I were to update my status right now it would say "I'm so tired." -- so I'm not going to do it.
-- Sent from my mobile device

Square One

You know how every once in awhile you remember an old show you used to watch and you wonder if anyone besides you and your sister watched it? Did anyone watch Square One? This is one of their music videos. They also had segments like Mathman and Mathnet.

This video really explains a lot. Mostly, it explains:
-- Why I still hate math.
-- Why I still love Springsteen.
-- Why I am not married.

Also, Juan Cougar? I laughed out loud seeing that again.

Also, I would like to further confess that I am in the middle of watching the movie Gandhi and paused it to look up Square One.

Christian the Lion

The newest thing making me cry. Make sure you watch the whole thing...



I could probably just keep adding videos about this fella:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Longest game ever

That UConn/Syracuse game the other night? 6 overtimes. 3 overtimes in, I decide that I'm the UConn coach. I'm screaming at the TV, yelling at the players, stomping all over the apartment. Then we get to the 6th overtime (6TH!) and I have the nerve to yell at the UConn players that they're getting sloppy. After 6 overtimes. I get sloppy after 10 minutes of blowdrying my hair.

List

I always have a shopping list of things I need to buy. This is my list this week:

Syrup
Mayo
Ice Cream
Pens

Unbelievable. On what planet would this be an acceptable list?

Thoughts on Doogie Howser, M.D. Season 1

I love the episode where the captain of the football team beats Doogie up and then goes to his hospital and asks him to help him with his premature ejaculation problem. You can't make this stuff up. Also, he calls him "Doggie."

Every time Doogie's girlfriend Wanda gets all jealous when he talks to another girl, I can't help but think that maybe he should just put her mind at ease and tell her he's gay.

Doogie wears a Yo MTV Raps T-shirt in a lot of the episodes. When he's not wearing that, he's in pastel or neon. Seriously, what was that kid thinking? Actually, what were any of us thinking in the 80s/early 90s? Most useless fashion decade ever. Slap bracelets and slouchy socks? 'Nuff said.

Why don't more people look surprised as all hell when they find out their surgeon is 16 years old? I'm pretty sure I'd be asking questions.

Vinnie Delpino is both a sleazeball and the greatest friend ever.

I don't remember watching these episodes the first time around. It's probably better this way. I do, however, remember watching the episode where Wanda and Doogie break up. I remember feeling sad for them. I was a sap even at 12 years old. Some things never change.

--
Sent from my mobile device